Shame thrives on hiding, being kept away, locked deep inside. The more I have looked inside and the emotions I am facing I can see Shame as the biggest part of my past that is still haunting me to this day. I have heard the word being used in the past but to be honest I have never really thought much about this emotion, it felt foreign to me so I dismissed this. So, of late I have started to stare this monster in the face and his name is Shame. It stirred up so much pain I wasn’t able to face and I did everything in my power not to face.
I knew deep down this had nothing to do with my looks, this went far deeper inside of me. For a long time I put this down to my looks, not handsome enough, not fit enough, causing me to be so self-aware which in turn caused deep rooted anxiety that brought me to my knees.
I have always looked at myself negatively, harshly and unfavourably.